summer dayze

This post's title is a nod to the cliché phrase "summer daze", as a play on words with "summer days", and as opposed to Summer Glau, who is entirely different. Something kinda funny I've realized about summertime: weekdays start to mean less. Without any classes to remind me of what day of the week it is, I'm starting to lose track, and am routinely shocked whenever someone tells me what day it is. Of course, I still go to church on Sunday, which serves as a good milestone for the week, but within Sundays there are few appointments to keep me on the ball...which could get disastrous if I end up missing a tutoring session as a result (I'm currently tutoring a 7th grader in math).

In spite of my tendency to let the days slip by, I do desire to accomplish a meaningful task or experience a meaningful memory this summer. Admittedly, my dad has probably nagged me to the point that this desire did not originate with me. However, our ideas of what a meaningful task or memory can sometimes be at odds with each other...for example, although I know that money is unfortunately necessary for me to go to school, and therefore I could really use a job this summer, I also would like to stay relatively laid back. I wouldn't be wasting my time if I didn't get a job, because I have plans to finish a significant portion of my novel and my movie script, as well as film a couple movies with Joel and the Triforce Studios film crew.

Another thing about summer I've noticed is that it's a great time to get less pale and skinny. I have been helping my dad work outside, which has lent itself to reducing my pallor and puniness significantly. If all goes well, I will get a membership to Oz Fitness or somewhere I can get back into shape.

All randomness aside, I was actually going to mention my recent observation that so far this summer, several of my younger friends have graduated from high school. It's one thing to feel old graduating from high school yourself; it's entirely different to feel old[er] watching your friends graduate. Fortunately, I get to see them now that I'm back from Pullman, but still, they'll be going out into the [cold, cruel] world soon. And I know that I shouldn't really feel so old, because in comparison to a lot of people, I'm still young. But I still have experienced things that the new grads haven't, so I wish that I could share these with them. ohey lukz- a idea1

On another note, I seem to regret my own actions more often than I'd like—sometimes regretting them only minutes or even seconds after I've done them. And I don't mean regretting obvious mistakes (e.g. I just stuck my hand in the path of a door being slammed, and I really regret it, or even, I just said something that may have hurt someone's feeling, and I really regret it), but rather, regretting the decisions that don't actually connote any harm or foolishness. Though nothing immediately D'oh!-y comes from these actions, I still look back on them, and think to myself, Could I have done something different that would have brought a more desirable outcome? And then after thinking that, I wonder if I should have done something different, and it tortures me until I realize how ridonculous it is. I'd provide an example, but I don't actually know who reads this blog, so in the interest of keeping me from regretting it later, I won't. And because I don't exactly understand this myself, thus, trying to explain it could very well turn out disastrous.

That's all the musing I'll fit into one post, because not everyone has the time/attention span/all of the above to read much longer than this. Stay tuned, though...I feel some more muse brewing in my brain.

*                                  *                                  *                                  *                                  *

Author's note: Sheesh, after only about 3 weeks of not writing any blogs, it's been embarrassingly hard to get back into the groove...and by 'groove', I definitely mean 'funky feeling', not 'rut'. It's taken me literally 73 hours to get this post finished.


"Pullman is Dead", a poem

Pullman is dead
Summer killed it
The life has been sucked from Pullman

Not completely...
Some of my friends,
A few who stay for the summer

I can smell it
The emptiness
Like a building before living

Quiet, peaceful
Unmoving sound
Disinfected, disconnected

Only shadows
Here rest, lazy
Leaving them till fall breaks the still

Make myself heard
But none to hear
Within earshot, people are not

So, to you, Lord
I take my cry
Knowing that you listen, attuned

I recognize
From His wisdom
The emptiness of godlessness

Like Waller Hall
At the moment
Would my heart be, but Him in me

Filling my void
Giving purpose
To direct and guide me, His child

I will never
No, not ever
Be lonely then, ever again.

*                                  *                                  *                                  *                                  *

Author's note: Check out this song by Rob Evans, called "The Donut Repair Club" by Rob Evans, which has this line in it: "Life without Jesus is like a doughnut / ... / 'Cause there's a hole in the middle of your heart / When Jesus fills your heart / He satisfies your soul / Like a pastry nugget in a doughnut hole".


like a criminal

That's right. Convicted. None of us are really any better than thieves and crooks. Think about it...what's the difference between us and them? We all have the same nature. The people who don't steal or murder are not worth any more than the people who do.

So then, why bother doing what's right? After all, even our most righteous acts are just filthy rags to God (Isaiah 64:6). But this is only part of the picture; when a missionary from Ethiopia, named Fred Van Gorkom, spoke at the E-Free Church this Sunday, he pointed out something that I want to share with you.

Each child of God is like an ore, impure and sullied by dross. In the refining process, ore is smelted in a furnace, so that it changes phase into molten form. Most precious metals are denser than the impurities, which float to the top and can be skimmed off of the surface.

Dr. Van Gorkom finished the illustration with an anecdote. He went to a silver refinery, where he watched a worker melt the silver ore and skim the dross off the top, repeating the process over and over and over. He asked the worker how long the silver must be refined before it is ready, and the worker replied that when he could see his image in the silver, then it was fully refined.

What is awesome about that illustration is how it resembles our own lives. Each of us is in a various stage of refinement, trying to reflect God's image with our life.

Now, the process of refining is not an easy one. It involves sacrifice...giving back to God what we can offer. But sometimes, we try to sacrifice things that don't actually cost anything for us. I challenge you (and myself) to give up to God something that we really do value.

*                                  *                                  *                                  *                                  *

Author's note: Thanks, Greg, for the use of the leaflet in your bulletin...I wrote most of the ideas for this post on that leaflet in church.